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skeat0115 发表于 2022-9-28 18:24   只看TA 21楼
感谢楼主分享
0
normalsoldier 发表于 2022-12-30 13:00   只看TA 22楼
看来是楼主的第一篇文章
这个节奏有点太快了，对人物的刻画也略有欠缺
对做爱的刻画集中在前面，对后面高潮的刻画较少
至于15岁145身高小萝莉，嘛萝莉文就不追究年龄这种东西了
总体来说是篇很不错的处女作，楼主再接再厉，小红心奉上！
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  • 龙玉米 金币 +5 认真回复，奖励！ 2022-12-30 13:33
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